News and views from the long-running video game web site with a retro focus. March 9, 2010... Pause for Effect I started Mass Effect 2 last night, and wound up playing the game for over three hours.  Why don't I remember the original being this fun?  Oh yeah, probably because it wasn't.  Bioware has completely overhauled the sequel, streamlining the interface and throwing in a handy compass that keeps aimless wandering to a minimum.  The action scenes are more engaging, too.  Sure, cover shooters have been done to death over the last three years, but Mass Effect 2 adds a lot of fresh features to keep the action from feeling like just another Gears of War rehash.  Having Jacob work his midochlorian magic on enemies while Miranda rips them apart from the inside is a beautiful thing. In other news, Microsoft's Game Room service launches in a couple of weeks.  If you haven't been keeping track, it's a virtual arcade with hundreds of classic titles from Atari and Konami.  The games are reasonably priced, costing three dollars each, but bare-bones in comparison to the typical Xbox Live Arcade release, without any enhancements.  Some of the games are a hard sell even at three bucks a pop, especially the thirty year old Atari 2600 releases.  However, there are a few gems that are worth the price of admission, with many more promised for the future.  I'll be sure to offer my first impressions of the Game Room when it arrives in late March. March 7, 2010... Fashionably Late? I'm here, I'm here!  Sorry, I just got preoccupied with stuff.  Stuff like this, mostly. I really need to get cracking on that Xbox Live Indie Games feature.  Developers have really stepped up their game since the service first launched as Xbox Live Community Games a year and a half ago.  While there are still plenty of cheesy Flash-quality titles with grade school artwork, the number of professional and semi-professional games have sharply increased.  I'm especially impressed with Shoot 1UP, a shooter which brings wicked excess to new levels, and Kaiten Patissier, a screen-twisting, cake-making puzzle/platformer with pastel graphics straight out of a late-era Super Famicom release.  Surely these games are worthy of some publicity, even if it's just from this place! Some quick notes before I amscray.  They're making a sequel to Scribblenauts, which shouldn't be a surprise since the first one sold pretty damned well in spite of its flaws.  Eh, player control is so last century anyway!  Steve "17" Ballmer is hinting at an Xbox 360 with a smaller form factor.  It's exactly what everyone wanted from the last Xbox, but better late than never, I suppose!  Finally, Walter Day of Twin Galaxies fame is hanging up his referee whistle after nearly thirty years of tracking the high scores for every game known to man.  All the best to you, Walt! March 5, 2010... Superzapper Wii-charge! I was feeling a bit peckish, but one disconcertingly greasy poppyseed muffin later, I've got the strength to begin this update.  I'll take this opportunity to inform you, loyal and few readers, of three important facts about the Nintendo Wii: 1) Its Classic Controller kind of bites. 2) A GameCube joypad isn't much of an improvement. 3) You do have other options. The first, Thrustmaster's T-Wireless game pad, was reviewed on The Gameroom Blitz a couple of years ago.  The controller was hobbled by a crummy directional pad but was rescued from mediocrity by one very cool feature... the option to remap the buttons and even the joysticks to your heart's content.  This let you customize controls in Virtual Console games that didn't natively offer it and even play Sin and Punishment with twin analog joysticks, a more intuitive setup than any of the three offered in the game's option menu.  At the time it was released, it was a welcome alternative to the Classic Controller, but not a perfect one. No, those would come later, starting with Raphnet's Genesis to Wii adapter.  This dongle plugs into one of the GameCube ports on the side of the Wii, and supports hundreds of controllers with a 9-pin D-shell connector.  Chances are, if it's really old, it'll work.  You can even plug in an Atari 2600 joystick and use that if you're so inclined, but since so many Virtual Console games require at least two buttons, you won't get very far in anything more complicated than the original Mario Bros.  No no no, I mean the one with the POW block and the toilet crabs!  Anyway, the adapter shines when used with the Sega Arcade Pad, a small six button controller that hit stores just in time for the Genesis version of Street Fighter II.  The buttons are awkwardly mapped to more closely approximate the layout of the GameCube controller, but the Sega Arcade Pad is as comfortable and responsive as it's always been, and synchs up perfectly with Genesis titles like Streets of Rage II.  If you've got a large library of these games on your Wii, this adapter is a must-have in spite of its slightly cheap construction and the couple of weeks it will take to arrive from French Canada. Raphnet's adapter is pretty good, but believe me, there are better ones out there.  My personal favorite is this Chinese number that lets you connect a Playstation gamepad directly to the bottom of the Wiimote.  This opens up a whole new world of possibilities... Thrustmaster's T-Wireless gamepad wasn't compatible with Geometry Wars: Galaxies, but this adapter is, and the game plays like a dream with a Dual Shock.  It's also given me a chance to dust off my purple Saturn joypad (which is worth a zillion dollars now, but you'll have to saw off my fingers to get mine!) and burn through a few games of King of Fighters: Orochi Saga.  It's like 1998 all over again, with me sitting in my underwear, spending all night playing games from a teetering stack of Saturn imports.  Except now, I'm older, the system is more powerful, and... uh, the underwear is larger. Some industry news before I go... the battle between Activision and the founders of Infinity Ward has reached its climax, with Jason West and Vince Zambella accusing their former boss of overstepping his boundaries and douchemaster general Bobby Kotick dismissing their claims in the most condescending manner possible.  The relationship between Activision and Infinity Ward has always been contentious- West and Zambella were never down with the "no fun" approach to game design that Kotick champions- but after the wildfire success of the Modern Warfare series, the last thing I thought Activision would do was jeopardize its future by gutting Infinity Ward and breaking the spirit of its remaining employees.  Didn't they learn anything from the castration and subsequent failure of Guitar Hero? March 4, 2010... Seriously Short Update There's a new review on the Blitz, courtesy of Ken Tibbs.  He's a long-time reader of the site and a regular contributor to the forum, so I thought I'd give him a shot as a reviewer.  He's left no stone unturned in his comprehensive examination of the recent Playstation 3 exclusive White Knight Chronicles... if you're thinking of adding it to your collection I'd suggest giving Ken's review a look first. Now if you'll excuse me, I just found out that my next batch of classes starts NEXT WEEK and I need a couple of hours to freak out. March 2, 2010... How Much Is Enough...? How much is enough? When your soul is empty How much is enough? In the land of plenty When you've had all you want and you still feel nothing at all How much is enough? February 28, 2010... I Actually Miss the Encyclopedia Britannica Guy Now Boy, this wasn't a good way to close out February.  I did a little surfing on Wikipedia and discovered that the reference to my GameBoy Advance conversion of GORF in that game's Wiki page was quietly erased, along with a brief description of another programmer's Jaguar CD game, which was released in limited quantities several years before.  Well, isn't that a nice fuck in the ass!  I spent three long months on that game, only to have it largely ignored by its intended audience, then blotted out of existence by the one source of mainstream publicity I had available. The apparent logic is that since the games weren't official, they weren't worth mentioning.  So what?  The arcade game wasn't strictly according to Hoyle either, lifting elements from two popular coin-ops without the consent of their respective developers.  More importantly, the GameBoy Advance version of GORF is a good game.  So was the Jaguar CD version, judging from the accolades it's received from the few gamers lucky enough to get their hands on it.  These games are better than any of the official versions of GORF I've played... isn't that worthy of some mention?  Not according to skirt-chasing douchenozzle Jimmy Wales and his army of anal-retentive dweebs with delusions of alpha maledom.  A note to Jimmy if he's reading this, and I do so hope he is... what's the point of an encyclopedia that anyone can edit if you're just going to edit it out? One more thing... if you're planning on firing up your Playstation 3 today, don't.  It's convinced that 2010 is a Leap Year, and has went into a Y2K10 meltdown as a result.  Customers have complained that their systems will no longer access the Playstation Network or even run games thanks to this bug.  This mess will surely be ironed out in the next week, but until then, you might want to put your progress in Heavy Rain on hold and play some other system for a while.  Might I recommend the Sega Saturn?  Perhaps something in a fine 1985 vintage... February 26, 2010... Ninja Blah I've written another review!  I'll just keep cranking them out, and you'll keep not reading them.  Today, the victim is... well, I won't refer to it by name, in the fear that it will come back to haunt me like Biggie Smalls or Tim Rogers.  All you need to know is that it's got more quicktime scenes per ounce than any game short of Dragon's Lair.  Also, you should never rent or buy it under any circumstances.  Just play Ninja Gaiden II instead, and have your little brother flip to a rerun of The Matrix on TNT every thirty seconds.  You'll get roughly the same experience. Also, Sony just realized that the PSP Go was a dumb idea.  And the last horse drags itself across the finish line! February 24, 2010... Look Ma, One Hand! (also, Wii/DS spring releases) First order of business: there's a new review on the site.  Dust off that Wii... it's time to live vicariously through 21st century swordsman Travis Touchdown in the outrageous action game No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle! What's next on the menu?  Nintendo recently announced release schedule for both the Wii and the Nintendo DS.  You can click this link for all the juicy details, but here's a brief look at what's coming out and when: Mega Man 10 (March 1st): Holy crap, I forgot all about this one!  And it's coming out next week?!  Man, I gotta find a way to get my Wii online.  Anyway, this is the sequel to the well-received Mega Man 9, which was the subject of one of my last video reviews.  If you didn't watch it, all you need to know is that it was a worthy successor to the NES Mega Man games and a lot more enjoyable than the spin-offs released for more powerful systems. Nintendo DS XL (March 28th): The super-sized sequel to Nintendo's popular handheld will arrive in stores by the end of March.  This is great news for sight-impaired players and PSP haters with screen-is envy, but it's hard for me to get excited about it now that news of the more powerful DS 2 has been leaked. Cave Story (March 28th): It's been a long time coming (a long, long time!), but at last, the beloved action-adventure title will arrive on the Wii with sharper graphics and numerous enhancements to the gameplay.  As a consolation to players who were expecting it over a year ago, all this extra content will be included with the game by default, rather than sold separately as was originally planned. Monster Hunter Tri (April 20th): Exciting news for fans of the series... not only will Monster Hunter Tri come packed with the more ergonomic Classic Controller Pro, but it will be free to play online.  If you've never tried Monster Hunter, you'll have a chance to get up to speed by playing the demo released on WiiWare in March. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (May 18th): Just in time for the upcoming Bruckheimer film, The Forgotten Sands rewinds the series back to the good old days, before the prince got all mopey and started listening to Godsmack.  As an added bonus, the Wii version comes with Konami's loose port of the original Prince of Persia, first released for the Super NES in the early 1990s. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (May 23rd): This is the brass ring, fellas.  Nintendo's serving up a second helping of Super Mario Galaxy, with the same eye-popping graphics and planet-hopping gameplay but more interaction with Yoshi.  If you like Yoshi, score!  If not, putting up with the greedy green dinosaur is a small price to pay for a sequel to the best game on the Wii. Sin and Punishment 2: Star Successor (June 7th): Sin and Punishment was pretty sweet as a Virtual Console download, but there were just two problems with it.  The first was that the jagged graphics that were already dated when the game was first released on the Nintendo 64 in 2000 weren't done any favors by seven years of technological advancement.  The second was that the gameplay was perfectly suited to the Wiimote, but the game didn't actually support it.  The sequel will address both of these issues when it's released in the first half of June. Metroid: Other M (June 27th): This one's a wild card.  This game, developed by the currently Itagaki-free Team Ninja, features stunning side-scrolling action along with the first-person shooter segments introduced in Metroid Prime.  However, there's no telling how the side-scrolling scenes will actually play... will they offer the exploration and careful platforming of the very first Metroid game, or the instant gratification of Team Ninja's stylish Ninja Gaiden series?  Only time (about four months of it, I suspect) will tell. Dragon Quest IX ("Summer"): Square-Enix shocked the world by skipping the next generation consoles and bringing the ninth installment of the Dragon Warrior (or is it Dragon Quest now?  Whatever!) series straight to the Nintendo DS.  This one's actually been out in Japan for almost a year now and has predictably been well-received in that territory, but finding an audience for it here in the United States will be an uphill battle.  That's probably why Square-Enix chose to let Nintendo take that risk. Speaking of Square, I spent a little quality time with Einhander and was amazed by what I saw.  It's a rock-solid shooter with some of the most stylish graphics I've seen on the original Playstation... a little stark, yes, but the Blade Runner-meets-Tron aesthetic really works for me.  As you'd expect, there are plenty of bosses, and many of them are utterly breathtaking.  In the second stage, you'll battle an all-terrain vehicle that weaves its way through the desert like an angry rattlesnake, launching heat-seeking missiles and even pouncing on you.  Sink enough shots into this serpentine dirt buggy and it falls apart piece by piece, eventually taking out a city block in a violent explosion.  This fight is epic enough to be a suitable climax for the stage, but that was just the mini-boss!  The real deal at the end of the stage is armed with machine guns and flamethrowers, and is so gigantic it won't even fit on the screen.  Einhander, you do what other Playstation shooters only wish they could, and that's with one hand tied behind your back! February 23, 2010... Ladies and gentleman, the president. And a goat. Sorry for the wait, folks... I thought I'd be able to introduce you to the site's next contributor, but it seems he's a little shy.  Instead, I'll bitch about Cross Edge, one of several RPGs released last year by niche developer Nippon-Ichi.  There are many, many things wrong with this game, but all the other reviewers have ravaged it for its microscopic sprites, needlessly complicated combat, and monotonous soundtrack.  Instead, I'll complain about the one aspect of the game that ruined it for me... the most pointless and desperate video game crossover since the Battletoads teamed up with the stars of Double Dragon. Any excitement that could be had from uniting characters from five different worlds is completely ruined when half those worlds are more like pea-sized asteroids floating aimlessly through the darkest corners of the universe.  What the hell is Idea Factory, and why the hell should I care?  The game ignores these questions, pairing the instantly recognizable Darkstalkers cast with lame newbies fresh from the Generic Anime Protagonist factory.  The notion of forgettable characters like Atelier Marie fighting alongside the brightest stars from Namco and Capcom is like asking the kid picked last in recess to pinch hit for Babe Ruth.  A note to Nippon-Ichi, if they're even around in six months... crossover games don't work when half the characters in the cast shouldn't have been created in the first place. February 20, 2010... Put Down the Knife, Baby! SoThink HTML Editor is the jealous, abusive girlfriend of web site editors.  The minute I edit a page in another program, SoThink takes its revenge by converting the entire file to the letters "ÿm."  I think it's time to ditch the bitch before she goes into full Lorena Bobbitt mode and hacks off my PNG files while I'm sleeping. Anyway, not much exciting has happened over in Blitz country over the last few days, so you haven't been missing much.  I just bought a copy of Muramasa that I'd rented from GameFly, further hemmorhaging what little money I have remaining on frivolities.  In my defense, it's a pretty entertaining frivolity! I've been having a lot of fun with Wii games lately, which totally was not what I was expecting when I dragged the old system out of the shed last month.  Lately, I've been spending as much time with Nintendo's humble console as I have with the mighty Xbox 360, especially during last week's No More Heroes 2 marathon.  Meanwhile, the last time I turned on my Playstation 3 was to watch the Blu-Ray edition of Labyrinth for a college class.  Yes, I'm getting a grade for watching David Bowie dance with Muppets.  Yes, America's educational system really is that deep in the crapper right now.  I think they'll be printing my diploma on squeezably soft three ply paper. In Blitz news, I've got a couple of fun surprises waiting for you all in a couple of days.  Stay tuned!  Also, if you see SoThink HTML Editor, tell her that I was working late tonight and that the perfume on my neck was from a mall sample. February 17, 2010... Backlog Jam Thanks to GameFly, my own impulse spending, and even a few generous donations, I have entirely too many games to play.  There's the shockingly fun 50 Cent: Blood in the Sand, the yet unfinished Darksiders, that copy of Red Faction Guerrilla I'm getting in the mail for buying Darksiders, the two Wii games GameFly sent that I've had for weeks but STILL haven't beaten, PixelJunk Shooter, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, a free copy of Cross Edge that the previous owner just wanted out of the house, three flavors of Rock Band... it's gotten totally out of control.  I promised myself I wouldn't buy more games until I finished what I had, but beating Dark Sector opened the floodgates to even more software I didn't need.  If there's any bright side to this, it's that I should be able to supply the site with fresh reviews for the rest of the year... and at the rate things are going, probably the rest of my life! Just a couple of things before I go.  First order of business: I'm switching over from SoThink HTML Editor to PageBreeze.  If I like the results, the switch will be permanent.  If there are weird formatting issues with the front page, you'll know why.  Second thing: Capcom is releasing an iPhone version of Street Fighter IV, but given the system's exclusively touchscreen control, the game will probably be more like Thumb vs. Thumb.  People are hounding Capcom to release a PSP version of the game, and I can't say I blame them... it just makes more sense in that format.  Finally, in Conan-zuma's Revenge news, word in Hollywood is that guitarist and professional lickspittle Kevin Eubanks won't be back for Jay Leno's return to The Tonight Show.  Wow, things must REALLY be bad for Jay when he can't even get support from his favorite house n-er, band leader! February 14, 2010... This Concept of "Wuv" Confuses and Infuriates Us! It's Valentine's Day.  In the immortal words of Dick "Nosferatu" Cheney, "So?" I do have a present for you though, esteemed and extremely few readers.  I've written a review of the PSN release Pixeljunk Shooter, which reminds me as much of the old computer game O'Riley's Mine as Atari's thrust-heavy shooter Gravitar.  It's just two months old, which is actually a pretty good lead time by The Gameroom Blitz standards.  I've also got a review of a very old game over at 1UP.com... the Pac-Man tabletop released by Tomytronics in the early 1980s.  Give that a look if you're in an especially nostalgic mood. The Gameroom Blitz (GRB) and all related properties are the trademarks of JessCREATIONS*, Co. and Jess Ragan.  All other properties are the trademarks of their respective holders.  All rights reserved.  Neither Jess Ragan nor JessCREATIONS*, Co. assume responsibility for damage done to any party as a result of the content on this web site.  All articles on the site are written by the editor unless otherwise noted.  This site is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox with a screen resolution of at least 800x600 pixels.  The game featured in this month's banner is Kickle Cubicle, from Irem Software.