News and views from the long-running video game web site with a retro focus.

January 2, 2009... Whoops

So, I was poking through the Xbox Live Video Marketplace last night, and found this slogan buried in the networks section of the service...

This unfortunate coincidence reminds me Thicke of the Night, the shortlived talk show hosted by Alan Thicke of Growing Pains fame.  The series was such a disaster that even the commercials seemed to hate it, with one ad proudly announcing "Once you try our maxi pads, you'll never go back to thick again!"

Speaking of falling asleep at the wheel until the car veers off the road and into a tree, Microsoft also let Warner Bros. sell a World War II-era Superman cartoon called Japateurs.  Yes, Japateurs.  It's exactly what you'd expect from the title... the man of steel thwarts an Axis sabotage attempt by throwing buck-toothed Japanese men around like ragdolls.  It's incredibly tacky and insensitive, but at least Microsoft didn't do something really idiotic, like trying to sell a cartoon based on that awful Control+Alt+Delete comic.

Wait, they did?  Seriously...?  That's it, I'm out of here.  If you want me, I'll be on the Wii.

Oh yeah... before I go, I'd better post a link to the latest Awesome NES update.  We're closing out the Rs with Romance of the Three Kingdoms, its sequel, and a few games that won't bore you to tears.

December 30, 2008... New Year, New Opportunities

Hey, I'm writing for money again!  I'll be reviewing homebrew software for 1UP's Retronauts blog, starting with Toyshop Trouble, an exceptional 2600 release by AtariAge.  You can check out the debut of this weekly feature, tentatively titled A Taste of Homebrew, by clicking on this link.

Oh yeah, there's also a new Awesome NES update.  This one's special, because the navigation bar has been updated in all the pages for a more uniform and convenient browsing experience.  As for the games, I've added reviews of Robowarrior (the closest thing the 1980s had to Bomberman: Act Zero, and that includes the mediocrity), the colorful feline antics of Rockin' Kats, and Rollerball, one of my all-time favorite pinball simulations.  Feel free to give that a look as well while you're here.

Guess that's it.  Enjoy the new year, folks!

December 20, 2008... You've Got the Look

So hey, I got impatient and decided to roll out the new design of The Gameroom Blitz a week early.  How do you likum?

"Stink-um!"

Quiet, Desi!  Annnyway, this is how the site will look from this moment forward.  It's very modular, making it a cinch for me to maintain and expand.  I'm especially excited about the sidebar, which makes navigation easier for the reader and updates a whole lot less painful for myself.  The sidebar is contained inside its own page, then transparently integrated into the rest of the site through clever use of the iframe attribute.  In layman's terms, it means that when I add a new feature to the site, I'll have to update just one page to reflect the change, rather than a hundred.  It probably goes without saying that I'll be adding a similar sidebar to Awesome NES in the very near future.

Speaking of the future, here's what I've got planned for the site in 2009!

WII AND XBOX 360 REVIEWS:  These systems have been out for over two years now, yet coverage of both consoles has been woefully thin on this site.  It's about time that changed.

FOLLY OF DIOGENES:  Armed only with a lantern, Greek cynic Diogenes searched in vain for an honest person.  Thousands of years later, this cynic will embark on a similarly futile quest... to find an Xbox Community Game that doesn't suck ass.

SHOOTER'S MISERY:  The makers of Fighter's Misery (that'd be me and John Roche, if he feels like it) set their sights on the cheesiest shoot 'em ups in the galaxy.  The bi-curious bodybuilders of Cho Aniki are only the tip of the asteroid!

ASSAULT OF THE INVADERS PART 3:  This decade has almost come to an end, so it's time to wrap up this article to a close with reviews of Space Invaders Get Even and other titles from the groundbreaking series released in the 21st century.

Stay tuned, folks!  2009 is going to be a big, big year for the Blitz!

January 1, 20XX... The Year We Make Contact (placeholder)

This is the proposed new front page for The Gameroom Blitz.  In the spirit of other gaming web sites like GameSpite and 4 Color Rebellion, the design has taken a turn for the simple, favoring content and readability over splashy graphics.  This has the added benefit of skinnability, as future updates could pay tribute to all kinds of video games with only a few changes to the background, title bar, and sidebar.  Cascading style sheets would make this process even easier, although I will have to learn to program in CSS before this will be possible.

This new, more straightforward design may spread from the front page to the rest of the site, giving The Gameroom Blitz site the consistency it has lacked since its first major redesign in 2001.  The sidebar on the right can be used to hold a wide variety of data and links, making it extremely versatile and applicable to nearly every feature on the site.  The only difficulty, of course, is in adapting old pages to the new design.  This may take a very long time, especially considering that the site has grown rather large in the past twelve years and some pages have yet to be adapted to the previous design.

The Gameroom Blitz (GRB) and all related properties are the trademarks of JessCREATIONS*, Co. and Jess Ragan.  All other properties are the trademarks of their respective holders.  All rights reserved.  Neither Jess Ragan nor JessCREATIONS*, Co. assume responsibility for damage done to any party as a result of the content on this web site.  All articles on the site are written by the editor unless otherwise noted.  This site is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox with a screen resolution of at least 800x600 pixels.